Inspired from a dream that I had. Not quite sure if it was a nightmare, but it left me distraught for a few days. The timeline of the dream took place back toward middle-school. It was just an interaction between me and a friend (at the time). He was extremely nice, and was just overall a gentle soul. Unfortunately, in reality, he was killed in a car accident when he was in his early 20’s. So, I hold on to the fond memories of when we were kids.
But in this dream, his personality was twisted. He was an absolute bully. Outright mean and a bit hurtful. Things he had never physically done or said were performed in the correct voice and general interaction patterns of the real friend. I did not like it, and wanted to wake up. I’d rather be back in my reality where he was dead but have the happy memories we had together intact. And I was able to wake up. Not with a startle though. It was more of a slow transition back to consciousness.
I was just laying there, happy that that particular dream was over. The correct memory/event was going through my mind, bringing in some peace from the twisted version that was being acted out moments before. But that peace slowly turned into coldness as reality set in that he was gone forever from this world. Plenty of good memories, but no time for more to be created.
Knowing that my mind was now willing to pervert these good memories, I did not want to fall asleep again fearing what other memories might be touched. But I was tired, both mind and body. It was pointless to resist, and very quickly fell back into slumber.